“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV).
This year has been a hectic, yet beautiful, yet perplexing year for me thus far. I have been on a journey of self-discovery and self love. Learning to release the toxins of self-blame and shame to inhale the beauties in my imperfections in order to grow from them. My spiritual journey has been rocky, honestly. I have been trying to do a lot of things on my own and in my own strength, which only wears me out and makes matters worse. To be honest, at one point I was upset with God. I was confused by how much he was allowing me to lose. Things that I desired was slipping from my hands’ grasp and slowly becoming out of my reach. Close knit relationships with some of my family and friends began to fade without really no explanation; they just dwindled. As much as I tried to rekindle and repair them, the relationship still grew distant. I went through a failed engagement to someone who I believed was “it” for me last year. We were all set to be married this past June, but it didn’t work out. Shame, guilt, anger, pressure, regret were all feelings that I felt as I experienced that failure. As hard as it was and is, I’m finding the beauty in the situation. I still give God thanks from saving me from what might have been a disaster. I give Him thanks for the friendships that he removed. All of these changes are beyond my understanding right now, but I trust God. We have to trust God in our losses. What may seem like a loss to us, may really be a gain. I would be lying if I said I had it all figured out, that “I’m good,” and “living my best life.” Truth is I do not have it all figured out and while I am trying to live my best life, it was a process getting here. It is through God that I can truly live the best life and endure the duration of any trial or life hiccup that comes my way. I’m finally getting back to, “me,” and operating in my gifts. I have been blessed with new opportunities and breaking out of my shell. It is through chaos, that we can sometimes find beauty. And although learning to have peace in the midst of the storm may be difficult, it brings the most comfort. I encourage you today, to continue to live! Continue to thrive! Don’t allow disappointment or a change in plans to discourage you, but use it to propel you into even higher places. My best friend told me, “we often thank God for what He allows to happen…we need to also thank Him for what He doesn’t.” I’m still growing. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve experienced loss. But thank God through it all, I’m still here! You are still here. Let’s use our testaments to help someone else🙂